she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
