she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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