I am in a vortex of obligation.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
