Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He? As in you personified your dick?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
