I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
