SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
