my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
