The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
there was a trapeze. enough said
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
