she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
the day after is always just damage control
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
