Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize