so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
