It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize