R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize