Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
