things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
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