cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize