he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
