hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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