Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
This baby is an asshole
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
