explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
