if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
