its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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