Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
what day is it and did you see me today?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
