Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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