Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
