my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
