theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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