I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
