i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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