went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
