I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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