What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
