I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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