I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
