Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He? As in you personified your dick?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
