Swine flu. Run for my life!
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
