We're like a lot better than the average bears
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
