so let's talk penis.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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