tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
