I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize