your room smells of hookers.
And success
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
