I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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