I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
