Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
