those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
