Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
