a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
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