Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
