Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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