did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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