My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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