but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
