i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
