I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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