i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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