I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
