you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Randomize
