I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
His hands were made for my vagina.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
