i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
