4 words: hood of his car
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
