I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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