either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize