I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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